Sometimes I think about my life like a scene from a movie. Or at least a line from a movie. Maybe that’s because right now I’m on a set all day and I see how TV/film can imitate real life. Or is it the other way around?

Either way, I’ve realized when I ask someone their advice, I need to figure out – in advance – if I can handle the truth. For relationship advice, I tend to talk to supportive girlfriends. The ones who will shake their heads in empathy when I tell them of my latest dating disaster (“why would he ask me out on a date when he already has a girlfriend?’), the ones who will psychoanalyze the deeper meaning of a text that reads: “talk later,” the ones who will rally with Absolute and American Spirits as you lament the fact that you really didn’t see it coming.

But there are times when I go to the one person who is the no-bullshitter. The one who will tell it how it is, regardless of hurting my feelings or my pride. The one I will initially regret talking to in the first place… but after time (and when I’m finally done pouting for being put in my place), I know they’re right.

I decided it was time to hear the cold hard truth. I found myself sitting in the dressing room, slumped over my desk, propped up only by my hands holding my sullen face. The boss had gone off to work so I talked to Brett about my latest dating debacle as he was cleaning up his makeup brushes.

He had heard me tell similar stories before: “there’s this guy... we have a lot of fun together… there’s just something that doesn’t feel right… and I’m not hearing from him much anymore….”

It was yet another spin off of the same show I starred in before.

Brett turned from his makeup table and gave me a sharp look. Though he works as a professional makeup artist to the stars, his unpaid job is giving straight up and painful advice. Luckily, this time, at least, I asked for it.

I sat up straight and crinkled my forehead as he continued.

“If you want a relationship, you need to find a guy who you connect with. Someone who wants to know the real you. Date and have fun. But don’t try to make someone who’s not seriously into you… into your boyfriend. You can see who they are as you start dating. Don’t get pissed when they don’t act like a boyfriend… because they’re not. If you want a pizza, go find a pizza. But don’t look for it at Panda Express.”

Damnit. Using food metaphors to make a point? He had pulled out the big guns.

It made me think about a blog post from a former boss written over two years ago:

Sometimes I get the itch to go out for a drink thinking I might miss meeting the woman of my dreams, but then I realize the woman of my dreams isn’t at a bar at 12:36 on a Wednesday morning.

No, the woman of my dreams is asleep in bed with her lame boyfriend she’s only now beginning to see is lame. Nice enough guy, but no passion or curiosity.

The woman of my dreams has to be up at 7am.

Maybe the woman of my dreams is at the gym, not the bar.

So maybe the guy of my dreams is currently in Italy, taking photographs for a documentary on human trafficking in Europe. But he just happened to stop by the best pizza place he has ever been to and he can’t wait to take me there someday when we visit together. And maybe I should wait to try the pizza on that trip and stop filling up on sesame chicken and fried rice. Even though it tastes really good in the moment, it’ll simply never be pizza. And honestly, I want pizza.

As much as I hate to admit it, Brett’s right. And if I’m going to handle truth, I have to face the fact that I need to be patient and stop trying to turn someone into something they’re not.